The Triple T Chronicles, Volume II: Got-R-Did

Good evening, avid readers; it's been awhile. The 2009 installment of the American Triple-T is officially underway and things are going swimmingly. After rolling out of our posh accomodations at the Portsmouth Ramada (and when I say "posh", I mean "our room has a hand soap dispenser that was clearly stolen from a McDonald's restroom affixed to the mirror over the sink and the showerhead would be too short for Gary Coleman"), arriving in the beautiful Shawnee State Forest (Shawnee is a Native American word that means "titillating"), and setting up transition, all we had to do was wait around and see if Douglass was going to make it on time. He did, arriving twenty minutes before race registration closed in his work khakis and ready to rock and roll. We all donned our uber-patriotic jerseys (these jerseys make the Harlem Globetrotters look like Communists), checked the water temp, laughed hysterically when we saw a guy wearing a uniform with the name Meatnip embossed on the lower back (I am not making this up), and anxiously awaited the start of our epic weekend.

These men wish to divide up your possessions and give some of them to those less fortunate than you.

BANG!! The race is off!! Friday's race is all about speed; the distances are ludicrously short (250m swim, "5 mile" bike that's actually closer to 3.5, 1 mile run), there's only one hill of moderate consequence, and everyone is fresh. There were a few noteworthy moments during the race, including a) one of the guys starting in front of Scottie and I finding a leech on his leg before the swim, b) passing Meatnip going uphill on my bike and almost falling over laughing, and c) Douglass and Julia having a pretty sweet race to the finish; other than that, it was pretty much business as usual for the Spartans. Here's how the times stacked up:

Josh McCallum~ 23:41 (44th)
Tim Fredricks ~ 23:57 (52nd)
Greg Boyd ~ 24:03 (58th)
Jeremy McCallum ~ 24:03 (59th)
Scott Przystas ~ 24:04 (60th)
Clemens Drenowatz ~ 24:09 (62nd)
Josh Matter ~ 25:11 (99th)
Eric Tingwall ~ 25:59 (127th)
Nancy Boyd ~ 27:59 (187th)
Alex Douglass ~ 28:03 (188th)
Renee Auernhamer ~ 28:47 (228th)
Alissa Thompson ~ 30:09 (261st)
Kate Salvadore ~ 31:19 (291st)
Julia Jones ~ 32:50 (314th)

Upon finishing the race, the MSU Triathlon crew repaired to the local ice cream establishment, the Dari-Creme, and mingled with some of the colorful locals, including a small child with a shirt that informed us all that the official past tense of "Git-R-Done" is "Got-R-Did".

I hope you're happy, you no-talent hack.

That's all from Portsmouth for the evening; check back tomorrow to see how all your favorite Spartans are faring as the going gets tough and the tough get Meatnipped.